katabasis: (he was going to attack)
ƬƠƬƛԼԼƳ ƇƠƊЄƤЄƝƊЄƝƬ ƑԼƖƝƬ ([personal profile] katabasis) wrote2022-09-06 05:59 am
Entry tags:

inbox(v.2.0).

action + written + crystal
(v.1.0)
hornswoggle: (143)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-19 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
They must have, John has decided. Surely the thing was easier to address when they walked toward it together, rather than having it sprung up around them in the midst of some greater crisis.

Resolved crisis. No one is dead.

John has made very little of his own portion of these bottles. Drunk little and less of it, slow to lift the glass from the table amongst the dwarves and slower somehow in the near-privacy of this room. His fingers skirt around the rim of the cup, thumb worrying at some small dent in the edge. Flint is stood, obliging John to look up at him as the speak, and John has not yet bid him sit. May not.

Recalls how he had once reached up to him, here in this space.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, two words become a reliable refrain tonight. "I've been slow to find my footing."

Honest, if likely unsatisfying.

Flint carries much for him, John knows, up to and including perhaps the patience afforded in conversations such as these.
hornswoggle: (1256)

https://i.ibb.co/ZNVyvRc/190215.png

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-19 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
The former feels truer than the latter.

Enough so that after a moment's study, John's palm sets flat to the uneven surface of the table. Straightens in the chair by degrees. Comes to a rejoinder, of sorts.

"Tell me," is a prompt.

Not Ask me, but Tell me. If there is a burr caught in his fist, dug in beneath the skin, tip it into the light.

Can John assuage it? That's a different question.
hornswoggle: (6111)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-20 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Some minor flicker of a look in return, some faint humor at the near-fable of James Flint letting something lie.

It would be funnier if they were speaking of something else.

But they are speaking of a specific thing. Mishandling it creates damage; it draws blood. John has observed this already, and still finds himself wanting when the subject is broached between them.

"We hardly know what it is," John tells him, a likely unnecessary reminder. "It may be days yet until we do."

Days which see them separated, which feels less than tolerable in this moment. Necessary, yes, but tolerable—
hornswoggle: (011)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-20 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
"Do you think that I don't?"

In what ways does John Silver remain opaque?
hornswoggle: (1122)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-20 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
There is some temptation to let the silence stretch between them until Flint says some other thing. It is not a favored technique, but John feels the appeal of it, turns it over in his mind as he considers the threads of the conversation thus far, the tension in Flint's body, the cup's journey upwards and downwards from the table.

"No, but that's not an answer."

An observation, dropped mildly onto the table between them. John is not on his feet, but he has been drawn further upright. Sees him sat straight-backed in this rickety chair rather than slouched into his habitual lean, leg stretched outwards.

"I do," follows smoothly; John's decision not to wait for an answer before nudging this point forward. "I want this. You."

Maybe the trouble is that it is so broad a statement it begs misinterpretation.
hornswoggle: (168)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-20 04:23 am (UTC)(link)
Were he standing, it is the kind of unexpected question that might well knock him back, require the shift of weight on his crutch. As it stands, it only tips him back slightly. The chair creaks. Beyond them, a burst of laughter rises and falls in quick succession.

The immediate instinct is only variations on the same defense mechanism: to pick apart the question, define it's terms into nothingness, realign the query until it points in a wholly different direction away from all points vulnerable.

How rare it is, to be so at a loss for words. (Not unlike being stood in the cabin aboard the Walrus, trying to talk his way past the wrenching reveal of his magic.) It puts him adrift, and there is no immediate answer forthcoming.

There is a yawning, screaming void at his back, drawn into this room with them. John can feel the chill of it even in the warmth of late summer. It raises the fine hairs there as John sorts through replies, testing the truth of them against the smooth honey of their formation.

"I don't think I'm ashamed," is what feels nearest to the truth. When he continues, "I may be wrong," it is some concession to what was passed between them in that room in Antiva, with Flint drawing damp cloths down his thigh, his fingers stopping just above the severing below John's kneecap. What had been said.

I know who you are.
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[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-21 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
Palm face-down on the table, all the scars John has collected there on his hands are hidden from view. Some have healed well. Some have not. John has wondered sometimes if they can be felt when he puts his hand to Flint's skin.

They come to mind now, as this question is put to him. As his thumb runs along the low edge of the cup, weighing the opening Flint has shown to him. He might say there is nothing. They might leave it here. They might let it lie long enough that they recollect how they navigated this topic before, and use it as a guide.

When these words come, they are chosen carefully because of how easy it would be to cut himself to shreds upon the admission.

"I want share that room with you," is amended with, "Any room, so long as it would be ours."

They are not talking of a specific room. Not really.

It had been easier to dredge up these things in conversation with Muldoon. To unsnarl the truth in parts and pieces, never quite touching the heart of the thing.

What does he call this? John has wound his way to the word, but stops short of it here.

(What a terrible thing it is, to have something too essential to bear losing.)
hornswoggle: (168)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-21 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
And the man sat in the chair, face tipped up in study and observation of that suggestion of movement that might carry James Flint away from him, asks, “Is it?” with all the expectation that it is not.

Not enough.

If there is one thing the man called John Silver knows, it is what satisfaction looks like. How to recognize its absence.

If it is enough, it is enough in the sense of cut losses. Folding at a card table before losing what’s already been gained. Cutting lines before wind snaps the mast. It doesn’t bring any particular pleasure, doesn’t quell any uncertainty.

(If there is a knife at his breast, how can he complain? He is the one who put it into Flint’s hands. He is the one guiding its trajectory.)
hornswoggle: (168)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-21 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, there is something that might be said.

But it isn't the sort of thing that can be asked for. (Would it feel the same to be told in so many words that there is no point at which he could be cast aside, if he were to request such a thing now?) John cannot dredge this out of him. There must be a check. Yes, John wants more. But Flint is, at times, a raw nerve. Why find out if he would crack his ribs open, should John ask for it?

The room is small. Within this space, all that time ago, John had found it so easy to simply reach for him. Draw him in. He had wanted him in some form or another for such a long time. Here and now, there are a handful of steps and a strip of table to contend with, and it is enough of a check on the impulse to give over to the impulse to allow events to repeat.

"I'm not sure."

Not a no. Not something closed. It is only an open door into a pitch black room, dark and difficult to navigate. However—

"I want to take you to bed," is so weighted with sentiment that the meaning inherent in the words shift in the light, depends on the way the shadows fall.
Edited (tweaks) 2023-09-21 23:52 (UTC)
hornswoggle: (181)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-22 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
In the space of that study, it occurs to John that he might draw that statement into sharper clarity. That he might parse out the dimensions of it so as not to be mistaken for a derailing or a distraction from their present conversation.

This is a desire that stands on its own, and as a variation on an answer. What can be said? Nothing John can ask for. Not aloud, at least. But he might ask in a different way, with the clutch of his hands and the way they slant into each other, the unthinking arrangement of limbs and weight. He has always been pleased by the way their bodies settle into each other, and in that easy familiarity certain truths might be easier telegraphed.

John has bent words into new meanings too long, too easily, to trust them. What he does with his body always feels like a truer thing. Actions tend to be.

Even an action as simple as the relocation of a sea chest up a flight or two of stairs. Where he might hang his coat. How his rings and necklaces might scatter and mingle with Flint's own pieces of jewelry. These are tangible, undeniable things. Anyone who looks into that room might observe them.

(Did they decide before or after he set out for Granitefell? Did the timing matter?)

"I don't want to reverse it."

Straightforward, certain.

"If there are questions, we will manage them," is also a certainty. They are both practiced in dealing with questions to which they have no intention of giving definitive answers. "I'm not concerned that we won't be able to diffuse the curiosity of the inhabitants of that tower."
Edited (sorry i will stop editing every tag i promise) 2023-09-22 03:25 (UTC)
hornswoggle: (pic#16358659)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-22 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
The flicker of skepticism is there and gone, just a blink of reaction.

There is little sense of resolution, though Flint is correct: this is ostensibly the matter they will have to consider, must have considered and deemed manageable once. But what John reads in his face, the kneading press of his hand to his eye, doesn't necessarily read as satisfaction in Flint.

"Come," is in service of this momentary reprieve. "Finish your cup."

They are celebrating, aren't they?

Maybe, maybe not. But regardless, John has exhausted his tolerance for the handful of steps separating them. He is not oblivious to Flint's study, that even this slight distance might afford a better vantage point. He is not even interested in diverting Flint from that scrutiny, only that it might be done at a closer proximity.
hornswoggle: (17)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-22 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
Perhaps they should have found the nearest man on the dock with a vessel and handed him a coin to return them to the Gallows. Would this conversation have been easier to conduct there rather than here?

Likely no. (They must have been in the Gallows before, hadn't they? The recollection of their work on the stairs must mean—)

At the prompting, John lifts his cup. Tosses back the contents in one motion, so he might fill the emptied cups one by one. Emlyn had given them something smooth and expensive, unaware that this was a strange sort of celebration. That they were marking a thing that didn't happen, regardless of how clear the memory of it's occurrence was.

"How early do you plan on riding out tomorrow?" he asks, sliding one full cup back to him before taking up his own. Doing his part, to drain this bottle while asking a question posed in search of neutral ground. All unresolved topics hang overhead, not quite dismissed.
Edited 2023-09-22 05:34 (UTC)
hornswoggle: (0001)

[personal profile] hornswoggle 2023-09-22 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
It occurs to him to say the thing explicitly: Stay.

The shape of it forms at the back of his mouth. John drowns it with the contents of his cup.

"I assume it will pass without much help, as memory returns."

Feels like a reasonable guess. There has been chaos of one form or another before. It is nearly a staple, for something to be going amiss. The only shift is the scope of this event. John hadn't asked after survivors, but he assumes the number of dead casts a very broad shadow across their number.

"You'll be well out of it, regardless."

Estwatch is likely preferable to him, than to manage the confused grief and relief that will likely linger for weeks.

third location.

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the pack is sealed.

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